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I TAKE WORDS AND VERBIFY THEM. I TAKE CLOTHES AND EDGIFY THEM. I TAKE READERS AND ENTERTAINIFY THEM.

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Rain + Designer Accessories = Anxiety

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Look at that grimace. Every time it rains, snows or hails, a painstaking anxiety strikes amongst fashionista baristas everywhere. Allow me to paint you a picture. 

I am out and about, doing my thang on the grey streets of New York, when it suddenly starts to snow. My heart begins to race. I automatically assume the mama bear protective position and wrap my arms around her. I pick up the pace, but not too much because if I slip…catastrophe. She’s getting wet! I try zipping her under my Acne jacket, to no avail. I need to get to shelter. For Phoebe’s sake! I make the impulse decision to run into the corner Duane Reade and pretend to shop for toothpaste until it stops. She is okay. End scene. 

Who is Phoebe, might be the key question on your mind. No, I do not have a secret daughter named Phoebe. No, I do not have a secret dog named Phoebe. Yes, I do have a Celine trapeze bag with suede wings that can easily be damaged in the rain/snow/hail named Phoebe.

Meet Phoebe:

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Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she won-der-ful? Isn’t she precious? 

See, you probably think this story is only about one neurotic fashion blogger who’s a little bit over-the-top with naming her bag and probably needs to get on some anti-anxiety meds, but guess what?! You are only half right! I may be an over-the-top cookernutter (I made that one up, HOLLA!) with the personification of my Celine bag, I’ll give you that, but I am not the only one who worries about the safety of her designer accessories in such damaging weather conditions! 

Take one die hard fashionista barista (minus the barista), Hilary Sloan of the Purse Blog, who describes a typical rainy day in designer shoes: “I went into my neighborhood pet store to ask for plastic bags to put over my suede Prada wedges and walked the rest of the way home with my feet in bags with rubber bands around my ankles. I wasn’t even embarrassed.

The lengths we go to to protect our most prized possessions…

Which brings me to my next point. I have an idea for a brilliant invention I’d like to take to Shark Tank and create a gazillion dollar business out of. Any investors out there looking to make it BIG, holla. What if I were to create some sort of chic portable rain gear for designer shoes and bags to protect them against the natural waters that fall from the sky? Sort of like a Burberry trench meets galoshes. BURBALOSHES. Brilliant or what?!

You might suggest that us lunatics just wear Hunter Boots and a junky tote instead of going to such great lengths to protect our designer accessories. That would be a fine suggestion actually, as long as we checked our weather app beforehand. 

The interesting thing about rain/snow/hail is that when we are prepared for it, it’s kind of a humbling, democratizing experience for fashion folk. To be able to succumb to the non sexy rain gear brings you back to earth. Like, suddenly we’re all just humans wearing wellies trying to stay dry. Which is sorta nice. 

But you know what else is nice? Chic portable rain gear for designer shoes and bags called Burbaloshes! So, who’s on board?!

(Photo 1 by Tommy Ton, photo 2 by Lydia Hudgens)